


Ed Edd n Eddy: The New Kid Chronicles

by joinmarch76



Category: Ed Edd n Eddy
Genre: Gen, Louis the Nomad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-23 00:52:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6099487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joinmarch76/pseuds/joinmarch76
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was a lovely summers day in Peach Creek, roughly around early-June. The summer had just begun, school had ended one weekend ago and the heat was already taking hold. The town seemed normal by comparison to other towns and cities. But that would soon change with the arrival of a new character to the mix. One that would change their lives forever, both in his style and in what he took with him. This is the story of..Louis the Nomad!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ed Edd n Eddy: The New Kid Chronicles

It was the beginning of June when it all began, a time of sun, sweat, and more hijinks than a Three Stooges short. It was also the time to water the crops for one of the kids of the cul-de-sac. This was the work for a rather tall fellow that went by the name of Rolf. He was a tall fellow indeed, with a bizarre home and equally bizarre past. His hair was a bright blue, his teeth green and a boy of what he referred to as The Old Country. This day's toils were to begin in his backyard, as his chores usually were there. He spoke in a bizarre broken English that even the other kids have trouble following sometimes. 

"Come, Wilfred! We have much to do!" he said, kicking a pig. Said Wilfred is the pig himself, whom was waddling in front of Rolf as he made his way to his backyard. Along with Wilfred came his other main animal, Victor; a goat that has the gullet of a raccoon. As he was tilling the soil in his garden, Rolf notices a shadow looming from the nearby fences. It looked human, but Rolf still cowered and armed himself with Victor. "Stay back, whoever you may be! If it is the Ed-Boys, use the front door!" 

"Ed-boys?" the figure asked. "What in the name of Cab Calloway's stetson hat are you talking about?" The voice was baritone in sound and came closer. Slowly, the figure revealed himself showing to be not the "Ed-Boys" that Rolf dreaded. Instead, he was a kid, just like him. Only he was tattered, his clothes torn and wrinkled from hat to pants. Said hat was a black fedora with three holes in it from all sides. His shirt was black as well, pinstriped with blue stripes, but faded as well. To say the least, he did not look to pleasant in this attire. And his hair wasn't much better, looking greasier than a hot dog on Coney Island and only offset by his bright blue eyes. 

His smile was yellow, with an orange tongue. His shoes were scuffed as were his pants. He was armed with nothing but a blue saxophone with illegible writing on it, a tattered briefcase, and an umbrella with holes in it. In short, he looked like he got this from night club's dumpster. "O-ho! Just who be you, he-who-looks-like-he-has-gone-to-the-Kankers-and-back?" Rolf inquired, stepping closer to the stranger. "Cankers? The only cankers I know of are the two in my mouth. And man do they hurt!" the boy replied, holding his right jaw. This caused Rolf to chuckle. "You make Rolf laugh, stranger! I am Rolf, a son of a shepherd!" He dropped Victor, whom promptly fled from his grasp as Rolf held out his left hand. "Eh, nice to meet you, Rolf." the boy said, smiling and shaking his hand. 

"Folks call me the Nomad, but you can call me Louis. It's the only other name I know for myself." "A pleasure, tattered-and-shabby-Lou-Boy! What brings you to Rolf's humble side of the cul-de-sac?" Rolf asked. "Didn't you hear me, Blue-Hair? I'm the Nomad. As in I wander from place to place to carve out my niche in this dog-eat-dog world. But in specifics to you, I noticed a For Rent sign on your house and was wondering of your prices." Louis explained. "Oh, sure! The sign is to signify Rolf's desire for a helper on the premises, as this is mainly a one-man operation. The rent goes to two chickens per month."

Louis looked around nervously. "I'm afraid I'm a little short on chickens, but I can pay in helping around your house if you'd like. That is the whole point to the renting, is it not?" Louis said, sweating a bit. "Hm? Rolf likes the cut of your jib, hard-in-the-head-Lou-boy! Report to this spot tomorrow morning, yes? Meanwhile, feel free to use Rolf's shower, for you reek like papa's sweaty armpits." A vapor trail emitted from Louis's armpits, causing Rolf to wave his hand to avoid the stench. "You sure your family won't mind?" asked Louis. "Poppycock! You are one of us, now, tattered-and-scuffed-Lou-boy!" Rolf replied indignantly. He continued his working on the soil as Louis headed inside. 

Inside the house was an assortment of knick-knacks from across the sea, and an assortment of meat strewed around as though it were a butcher shop. "Yeesh," Louis thought to himself. "The place smells like a spoiled deli." This didn't faze him, however, as based on his own smell, he was one to talk. Or in this case, think. He made his way upstairs to the restroom, where he sees that ironically the bathroom didn't smell as much like meat as the rest of the home. 

Though the smell was still very strong. He took off his tattered clothes and stepped into the shower, where he turned on the spigot and noticed an assortment of shampoos and conditioners with bizarre smells. Such scents included: "Yam and Bacon Splash", "Potato Skins" and "Sausage of the Gods". The latter of which made Louis shiver at the thought. After all once you thought of it, you can't unthink it, but that goes without saying.

Nonetheless, Louis was indeed grateful for such hospitality and chose Potato Skins for his shampoo, as it sounded the least...bizarre of the three mentioned. "Here goes something." he thought to himself. We will skip the rest of the shower, as it isn't of lasting importance of the details there. But I will say this much, as a note to the readers, Louis had a habit of singing in the shower, and this singing was always in a deep baritone/bass range. 

It was deep enough for Rolf to sense it as though it were a tremor in the Earth and the animals of Rolf's yard began to panic, as though an earthquake was beginning. After the shower, Louis walked out to take a tour of the new temporary home for him. "What was this tremor that made my flock panic?!" demanded Rolf. "Oh, you mean my singing? It's something I've been stuck with since as long as I remember. You and your flock should get used to it." "A burden has been placed on Rolf..." muttered Rolf. "Pardon?" asked Louis. "Never mind, Lou-boy." he replied. He shook his head and replied with a smile, "Well, come then! We must tour the land so that you may know what you have gotten yourself into!"

But instead of viewing the house, he instead showed Louis around the cul-de-sac itself. At the time, a girl with red lips and blond hair was lounging in a pool, while a boy with a plank in his right arm pranced around the sidewalk. One third kid with a red cap and green sweatshirt was pumping his bike tires. The bike itself was a silver model with black tires and seat. The three noticed Rolf and Louis and stopped what they were doing altogether.

"Who's the new kid, hombre?" the red capped kid asked. "No home-brays, Kevin, as Rolf does not own donkeys. But Rolf has found a new helper around Rolf's house." Rolf replied. Louis tipped his tattered hat and smiled. "Greetin's, kiddo. I'm Louis." he said, winking. "'Sup? The name's Kevin." the red capped kid said back, fist-bumping him. Just then, the kid with the plank jumped on Louis. "Whoa, back up there, boyo!" Said boyo was dark-skinned, with two buck teeth and prickly hair on his head. "My name's Jonny! And this is my buddy, Plank!" he showed Louis the board of wood in more detail. It was yellow, with red eyes, blue pupils and a blue mouth. "Eh, hi, Plank." Louis said, nervous to what'd happen if he didn't say that. "Plank says, 'Dogpile on the new kid!'" Jonny called out. 

"Wait, dogpile on wha-?" Louis asked. Too late to finish his sentence, he was already dogpiled by Jonny, Rolf, Kevin, the blond girl, and two other kids that heard Jonny and ran towards them. One was a girl with red hair, big lips and mouth, accompanies by a pale boy with braces that hovered around his mouth like a Saturn ring. He was wearing a bandage on his head as well, and in short, looked like a chew toy for the world. The girl cried out, "I love a new kid!" "Save room for me, girlfriend!" said the braced boy, jumping on top of her as well. "Nice to meet you all...." groaned Louis. "To who do I owe the pleasure of being squished?" The blond-haired girl answered first, looking down on him from between Jonny and Kevin. "Hi, I'm Nazz. What's your name?" She sounded very gentle in voice, and looked cute to match. "Howdy, little lady; I'm Louis. I'm the guy you're all squishing your combined weight." he replied, strained. "I'm Sarah!" the red headed girl said from high up on the pile. Her voice was rather grating on Louis's ears, but nothing too terrible. "And I'm Jimmy!" the pale kid chimed in. "We're the kids of this cul-de-sac!" added Kevin. Louis crawled out of the pile and shook Jimmy and Sarah by the hands. "A pleasure, I'm sure." he said, winking. 

"Did someone say 'new kid'?!" a voice was heard in the distance. "Oh, great, here they come." Kevin groaned, rolling his eyes. "What?" asked Louis. "Did I miss something?" "Brace yourselves!" hollered Jonny. Three more kids showed up, this time, only this time, they were covered in red lipstick and smiling greatly. They were the local scammers, known simply as "the Eds." These Eds, though same in name were not same in looks. The leader was named Eddy; and was the shortest of the three. He had three lone hairs on his head; he was bright pink, as though he was totally sunburnt. His eyes were as sinister as his devious smile. He was the supposed brains of the operation, though in truth, he is only as smart as the company he keeps. Said company included Ed, the muscle of the three. Standing tall, his bright yellow complexion, freckles and unibrow indicate that there was little sign of intelligence, but plenty of strength to compensate. As shown in his power, he can lift a house at little strain on himself. By way of contrast, the final Ed, nicknamed Double D since his name is equally Ed, just with an extra D, he was the smartest and most shy of the three. Armed with a normal complexion, a black sock for a hat, a red shirt and blue pants, his gaped teeth housed a knowledge that went mostly unrecognized by the others. "What a great revelation!" Double D proclaimed. "Jump on the new kid! Jump on the new kid! I forget what I said!" Ed shouted. The three tackle Louis. "Is it National Glomp the New Neighbor Day?" muttered Louis. "Heya, pal! I'm Eddy! And this is Ed and Double D!" Eddy greeted with the biggest smile of all. "Hello, young sir! I'm Eddward, but you can call me Double D. Everyone else does." Double D said cheerfully. "I AM ED!" shouted Ed. "Nice to meet you... I think." Louis said. He crawled out from under them and backed slowly towards Rolf. "Call me crazy, but what's wrong with them? They seem harmless, albeit interested in crushing my rib cage." Louis asked the others. "They're scammers." explained Kevin. "Out to make a quick buck!" "Kevin, please! Didn't you go through the movie? We're done scamming people!" Eddy protested.

Louis stepped forward and shook Double D by the hand. "I'm Louis, Double D is it?" He then noticed the red lipstick. "Eh, what happened to you guys?" Louis asked. "Oh, just another run-in with the Kankers." Eddy explained. "The who?" "They're not a band, Louie-boy." Eddy said. "They're stalkers!" "Obsessers from beyond!" chimed Ed. A loud, female, Brooklyn voice was heard shortly after. "We're after ya, boys!" "Oh, no! Here they come!" dreaded Eddy. "Quick, hide!" The three trample over the kids and hid in the bushes, leaving Louis to behold the Kankers in all their insanity. They each had different colored hair, and all looking beastly in their own right. "Well, looky 'ere!" the red-headed one said. "We got us a new kid comin' to our turf!" "Let's give him the Kanker Welcome, Lee!" the blue haired one said. "Yeah, let's! He's kinda cute, Marie!" the yellow haired one said. They grabbed Louis, but as they were about to drag him off, he forced himself free of their grip and reached into his pockets to pull out his saxophone. "Back off, ladies! If you're gonna take me away to be admired, you gotta do it right!" Louis said, looking angrily at the Kankers. "Also, this new kid is named Louis, thank you!" "Ain't it a dreamy name?" Marie asked Lee. "That it is, Marie. That it is." Lee agreed.

Louis started to look worried. "Oh, dear." he thought. The Kankers stepped forward and introduced themselves, all the while cornering Louis towards a streetlight. The yellow haired one spoke up first. "I'm May Kanker!" Marie spoke up next. "I'm Marie Kanker!" Lee spoke up last. "And I'm Lee Kanker. We're the Kanker Sisters! We live in the trailer park near the Lane!" "A pleasure, I think..." Louis said back, looking nervous. "Apparently, personal space is a foreign word to these girls..." he thought to himself. Before he could contemplate further, however, he was tackled by the three and assaulted with more kisses than a romantic comedy lead. "I said, BACK OFF!" Louis shouted, kicking the Kankers off his abdomen. "I appreciate admiration as much as the next guy, but two tackles a day is more than enough for me."

"Come on girls. Seems we're not wanted by the new kid." Lee said. "Yeah, someone doesn't know what he's missin'!" Marie added. "Your loss!" added May. And the three slipped quietly back from whence they came. Shortly after, there came a cheer from the other kids. "Awesome defense there, hombre!" congratulated Kevin. "Defense? All I did was kick them off of my person!" Louis said. "Let Rolf rub the pit of victory, Lou-boy!" exclaimed Rolf, rubbing Louis's left armpit. "Please, please! No need for such insane praise; I only did what I had to in order to protect my personal orbit." Louis said modestly. "No, you don't understand." explained Edd. "None of us really had the guts to stand up to the Kankers before now!" Eddy said.

"Really? They don't seem all that intimidating." Louis said. "You haven't seem them when they're mad, dude." warned Nazz with a nervous look. "Yeah, they can break down the entire cul-de-sac with just one tantrum!" added Sarah. When that little factoid hit Louis, his heart beat rapidly at the thought of being at the business end of such power. "Touche, Sarah. Touche." Ed laughed aloud. "Louis said butt!" he exclaimed. "Not even close, Creeping Terror." Louis said, rolling his eyes. "Ignore him, man. Big Ed's still got some dork points to him." Kevin said, looking annoyed at Ed. "I'll just pretend that made sense." Louis replied under his breath.

"I know! Let's celebrate at the lake tonight!" proposed Jonny. "Both to commemorate Louis, and to celebrate the defeat of the Kankers!" A rousing, agreeing cheer rang out, and Louis couldn't believe his ears. "Not one day in and I'm already a hero? Either I have the best luck with Murphy's Law, or the writers took the day off..." thought Louis to himself.

**Author's Note:**

> To be Continued....


End file.
